Boy of the Month: Adam Scott

Where you know him from:

1) As "Henry" on "Party Down"
2) As "Ben" on "Parks and Recreation"
3) As "That douchey guy" on "Step Brothers"


Why I think he's dreamy:

I don't actually know why. There is something about his cute, scrunched up face and sardonic way of speaking that simultaneously hits my "adorable" and "snarky" receptors in a quite appealing way, I suppose.

I came upon Mr. Scott one weekend, when, looking for something to half-pay-attention-to while working on some craft projects, I found "Party Down" available to view instantly on Netflix. I then accidentally watched all of Season One that weekend, and Season Two the next. While weeping uncontrollably (well, sniffling a bit) for the lack of a Season Three, I discovered that Adam was in the more recent episodes of "Parks & Recreation", so I started watching that series, waiting with bated breath for my new boy to show up. Sigh.

Whatever it is about this guy that makes me swoon, I want to bottle it as cologne and spray it liberally on every guy I know. If I were writing and starring in a romantic comedy, this is the gentleman I would choose as my love interest. He's jumped RIGHT to the top of my Top Five List.



Recommended Viewing:

If you haven't watched "Party Down", I highly recommend it. He also did a great job playing a teacher in an episode of "Veronica Mars". He's also had interesting bit parts in "Knocked Up", "Six Feet Under", and "The Aviator".

Also, this:




NOT Recommended Viewing:


Do not watch "Monster-In-Law" just because he's in it. He plays a sort of "wacky ambiguously gay neighbor" character and he's not in it enough to bear the whole rom-commy-ness of the whole mess. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you attempt to watch "The Return", which I recorded from the Lifetime Movie Channel because it popped up in my TiVo WishList for Adam Scott. Unless you like vague supernatural "thrillers" that make no sense, in which case, go right ahead.


Important Note:

Apparently there is a golfer named "Adam Scott". So if you are looking for pictures of an adorable actor, and not a guy swinging a club, I recommend you add "-golf" to your search.



In Summation:

Daniel Radcliffe - The Boy Who Grew Up

Let's face a tough fact here. It's likely that the first time you saw Daniel Radcliffe, he was TWELVE YEARS OLD.

In 2001, the first Harry Potter film was released. I remember being thrilled with the choice of actor for young Harry, and I vaguely remember that most people were as well (although I'm sure there was a small legion of uber-fans who thought he was terrible for the role, because the internet existed then.) I remember thinking, "Aww, isn't he just adorable!" I don't think any woman above the age of 18 was quite prepared for the disturbing feelings Mr. Radcliffe was going to start inspiring over the next decade.

Because, DAYUM.



Admit it, you now feel like SUCH a dirty old woman (or man). Wrenish, I'm especially talking to you here.

Yes, before our very eyes, Dan grew from an adorable twelve year old to a ridiculously good looking twenty-two year old, with a stop around his 18th birthday to appear nude on stage in a revival of Equus, thus causing my brain to try to explode.



Now Mr. Radcliffe is all set to tackle Broadway with "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying", step one of which is, I imagine, "Look like Daniel Radcliffe."

It would be rather easy to dislike a young man who appears to have had his entire life handed to him on a silver platter, if it weren't for the fact that he has no trouble taking himself down a notch or two on occasion. He appears to be sweet, funny, and a good sport. For example...

I Am Harry Potter from Daniel Radcliffe

And...

So, in conclusion, I look forward to having Daniel Radcliffe make me (and Wrenish) feel like a dirty old woman for decades to come.

Boy of the Month: SPIKE! I mean, James Marsters

Where you know him from:

1. SPIKE!!! From Buffy!!!

2. Captain John Hart from Torchwood

3. Brainiac from Smallville



Why I think he's dreamy:

You may have noticed by now that some of my favorite cute boys are stars of science-fiction/fantasy/horror-type shows. This is probably because I watch a lot of science-fiction/fantasy/horror-type shows, and there are a lot of cute boys in them.

James Marsters has been on my Top Five list twice now. The first time was because I adore "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", and Spike was by far my favorite character. What can I say, I like the bad boys who then become slightly-less-bad boys through acquisition of a computer chip and/or a soul. One of my favorite things about his role on that show is his wonderful fake British accent. So when he was on Smallville as Milton Fine (aka Brainiac) with a terrible sort of Middle-American accent, he, not inexplicably, dropped right off the list. (Maybe it was the accent, maybe it was just that he had to stand next to the younger & prettier Tom Welling, who knows?)


But then, as if he knew just what to do to win back my adoration, he guest-starred on the sexy Doctor Who spin-off Torchwood... as an ex-lover of the omnisexual Captain Jack Harkness. And then John Barrowman and James Marsters made out, to the delight of geek-girls everywhere.



SIGH...

As if that's not enough to make you like the guy, he also sings.


Recommended Viewing:

This...



This...



And this...




Now go back and watch Buffy from Season 4 onward, because I know you want to.


In Summation:

Talented, sexy, and apparently an open-minded guy. What's not to adore?


You're welcome. ;p

Boy of the Month: Misha Collins

Where you know him from:

1. Castiel, an angel on Supernatural
2. ...
3. ???

Why I think he's dreamy:

Misha is one of the lesser-known boys on my list. He's had bit parts in ER, Monk, Nip/Tuck and CSI, among other shows, but he's mostly know for his work in Supernatural. I've always described Supernatural as "Buffy, but with cute boys", and that was even before Misha joined the show. While few hetero women would kick the Winchester boys out of bed for eating crackers, Castiel is by far, in my opinion, the most attractive man in the cast.



Not knowing anything at all about Mr. Collins after his first appearance on Supernatural, I soon found out that he is insane, in the nicest possible way. According to The Internet, Misha is a published poet, once worked as a White House intern, worked as a producer and copywriter for NPR, worked as a carpenter to put himself through school, took an EMT course, started a software company, spent time in seclusion at a monastery in Nepal, built his home and most of the furniture in it by himself, and enjoys attending Burning Man. He also has a turtle named Drydraluxlaloud, which is named so because the idea came to him in a dream.


I next discovered his Twitter account, from which he posts such things as his emergency room photos after a serious biking accident, fictional accounts of being held hostage by the queen of England, and orders to his followers, affectionately dubbed "minions". After a convention where he requested his minions each to bring an egg and a sheet of construction paper (and many did), Misha soon realized that he could help channel his overwhelming power over his followers into something positive. Eventually this resulted in the creation of the charitable organization "Random Acts", which tries to better the world in both small ways, such as distributing flowers or buying shoes for a young boy whose father had lost his job, and large ways such as making significant cash donations to orphanages in Haiti. (This is not out of an altruistic impulse, according to him, but simply to help him in his quest for world domination.)




Recommended Viewing:

If you are not already watching Supernatural, WATCH SUPERNATURAL. It nicely fills the Buffy-shaped hole in my heart. Plus... ya know... cute boys.

Whatever you do, DO NOT watch the horrible, awful, based-on-true-events movie "Karla". Misha plays a really reprehensible man to whom rape and murder are recreational activities, and whose wife (played by Laura Prepon) is also involved in all of this, even though one of the murders is of her younger sister. Watching this movie will make you feel dirty, and not in a good way. Trust me on this one.

I'm not a fan of elective-surgery-based entertainment in general, but Misha's appearance on Nip/Tuck was... interesting. (Warning: NSFW. Or for those with delicate constitutions.)





In Summation:

Misha Collins is attractive, accomplished, spiritual, altruistic, whimsical and funny as hell. How could you not adore him?

Boy of the Month: Tim Roth

Where you know him from:

1. The better recent "Hulk" movie
2. That "Lie to Me" show on Fox
3. "Pumpkin" on Pulp Fiction

Why I think he's dreamy:

First of all, I know what you're thinking. Sure, Mr. Roth would more properly be called the "Man of the Month", but I'm not changing the name of the column now. But if I were to change it for anyone, oh boy, it would be Tim Roth. He is 5' 7"of ALL MAN.

I first became aware of Mr. Roth while watching "The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover". It is still one of my favorite movies, and while Tim Roth's performance was wonderfully brutish (as was called for in the role), he is only a small reason why I enjoy the film. Still, it did put him on my radar. His appearance in "Reservoir Dogs" cemented him as one of my favorite living actors.



While most of the male celebrities I enjoy tend to be a little "girly", at least according to my friends, Tim Roth does not fit that mold. This is less a giggly schoolgirl-type crush, and a more animal sort of instinct. Something about this man makes me think that if you were to go to bed with him, he would rip you apart and make you like it. Also, he has gorgeous tattoos. Now pardon me for a moment while I recover on my fainting couch.


Recommended viewing:

If you haven't see the aforementioned "The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover", I highly, highly recommend it. Helen Mirren and Michael Gambon are fabulous in it, and the costumes and set design are amazing. Though I find it difficult to belief anyone with an interest in film would have skipped "Reservoir Dogs", let me take this opportunity to remind you to add it to your Netflix queue if you have not.

I'd also recommend "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead", a film that occurs, as it were, in the "background" of Shakespeare's "Hamlet". It's an interesting metaphysical interlude in which Roth stars as Guildenstern, and the wonderful Gary Oldman plays Rosencrantz (or is it the other way around?)


If you have more main-stream tastes, check him out as the Abomination in the more recent of the two recent "Hulk" films. As for his television show "Lie to Me", if you like "House", you will probably like it. (Yes, I like them both, but I have a thing for emotionally and/or physically crippled geniuses, so take that under consideration.)


In Summation:
As one of the better actors I have featured in this column (if not the best), Tim Roth has an interesting body of work should you want to study him further. Though he has appeared in some clunkers (the awful Tim Burton "Planet of the Apes", the useless American remake of "Funny Games", it's never his performance that causes those movie to fail artistically. And he does appear to have a bit of a sense of humor, as seen in the "Brostitute" faux documentary.

Boy of the Month - Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Where you know him from:


1) He was that kid in "3rd Rock from the Sun"


2) He was the sad sack in "(500) Days of Summer"


3) He was that stylish and incredibly attractive gentleman in "Inception" that made Leonardo DiCaprio look like some homeless guy





Why I think he's dreamy:

It is with a great sense of shame (I know, I was as shocked as you are to find that I had some of that stuff) that I present to you Joseph Gordon-Levitt for this month's Cute Boy. I find him to be incredibly good looking and that is highly disturbing to me, since when I graduated high school he was 11 years old (icky.) And when I first noticed him in "3rd Rock from the Sun", he was 15 (squicky) and I was in my twenties (early twenties, but still). The point being, he makes me feel very much like a dirty old woman.

Still, look at the man now. He's apparently the darling of fashion photographers everywhere, as there are a million high-concept, black and white and/or artfully shot images of him on the internet. (THANK YOU, fashion photographers!) While I had been aware of him from other projects, "Inception" really cemented his place on the "would be on the Terry's Top Five List if he weren't SO FREAKING YOUNG" list. He's a wonderful actor who can say more with a slightly raised eyebrow than most of his contemporaries can say with pages of dialog. He also looks astoundingly good in a suit.


Recommended Viewing:

First of all, if you haven't seen Inception, please go see it. It's probably the best main-stream American film I've seen in years (but please keep in mind that I do tend to prefer indie and foreign flicks.) If you are a fan of JLG, it's a must-watch, and half of that is just for his wardrobe.

Next, check out "Brick". It's a "hard-boiled detective" story set in a modern-day high school, with all the accompanying Dashiell-Hammett-type touches. Once you figure out the slang, you'll enjoy it. I began watching it without knowing that was the premise of the film, and it took me a while to get into it. But, since Joseph Gordon-Levitt was wearing glasses, I persevered, and was rewarded with an interesting and unique film experience.


Also, if you haven't seen (500) Days of Summer, you should probably watch that. Make sure you have tissues nearby if you are of an emotional constitution, like myself. Even if you know where this movie is going, it still packs a bit of a wallop when it finally gets there.



On my to-watch list is "Mysterious Skin", in which Mr. Gordon-Levitt has what some people consider his break-out adult role, and "Manic", of which the same is said. Well, really, I pretty much want to see most of the more recent films JLG has appeared in, except for G.I. Joe. I apparently found my cute-boy/bad movie limit right there.


In Conclusion:

If you're watching a movie starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, you have about a 95% chance of it being a very good film. And if you are a fan of JGL, Claudia Schiffer, menswear or very light bondage, I highly recommend checking out this photo shoot, from which the below image was taken. Don't thank me, thank those blessed fashion photographers.

Boy of the Month - Ewan McGregor

Where you know him from:

1. He was that douchebag on "Trainspotting"
2. He was young Obi-Wan Kenobi in the horrible Star Wars prequels
3. He was Christian the Penniless Poet in "Moulin Rouge!" (I'm not shouting... the name of the movie includes the exclamation point. Gotta love Baz Luhrmann!)

Why I think he's dreamy:

I can pin down the start of my one-way love affair with Mr. McGregor precisely to March 24th, 2002. The day before had been a group birthday party for me and two of my bestest girlfriends, and lots of people stayed the night. The next morning, all the girls watched Moulin Rouge (while the boys did something else for fear of contracting estrogen poisoning or something.) As soon as I heard dear Ewan open his mouth and sing, I fell madly, deeply in obsession with him.

(This scene still gives me chills.)

I had actually seen our boy in many films previous to this, but never really paid attention to him until that precise moment. Of course then I went on a Ewan-watching binge, and watched everything I could get my hot little hands on starring my new love.

Ewan is currently number two on my top five list, and only that low because of my complete and utter devotion to Mr. David Tennant (both of whom are Scottish. And adorable. Notice a trend?) There is something about Ewan though, something mischievous about his eyes, something playful about his demeanor, that is powerfully attractive to me. He is also quite a good little actor, if given material that's worth a damn. And, sometimes even not then... I still think he was the best part of the horrible Star Wars prequels, especially in "Revenge of the Sith". (The tag line for that should have been "New Star Wars: Now with Actual Acting!")

Another fun thing about Mr. McGregor is he seems to have no problem doing full-frontal nude scenes. He appears to be quite proud of his bits, and, may I say, with good reason. See below for some of my favorite films starring Ewan's tender bits.

Recommended Viewing:

If you have seen the previously mentioned films and are hungering for more Ewan, I am just the person to recommend some movies for you! First, let's go way back to 1994 and a wicked little darkly comedic thriller called "Shallow Grave", which stars Ewan and his lovely hair.

Next you'll want to move right along to 1998's "Velvet Goldmine", a Todd Haynes flick based loosely on real events during the early glam rock stage of the 70's. In addition to Ewan, this film also stars Christian Bale and Jonathan Rhys Meyers, with a cameo by Eddie Izzard. Seriously, why haven't you already seen this??? Be warned that there are some fairly graphic bits and lots of nudity, especially the part my hubby likes to describe as the "Obi-Wan is f%*#ing Batman" scene.

The last of the more obscure Ewan films I would recommend is "The Pillow Book". It's a moody drama centered around body-painting, a harmless fetish taken, in this case, to its artistic extreme. The film is a sensual exploration into the nature of sensuality, literature, love and revenge. Also, there is a really long scene of Ewan wandering about nude. In context, it is not particularly titillating, so here is an out-of-context picture for you to ogle.


My "guilty pleasure" Ewan film is "Down With Love", because I love the old romantic comedies that this movie pays homage to, and also, because David Hyde Pierce is hilarious in it.

In Conclusion:
Don't mind me, I'll be over here watching The Pillow Book and Velvet Goldmine again.

Johnny Depp - The Man That Time Forgot

Inspired by Wren's & Doomwench's "Dorian Gray" reviews, I decided to write up a little something about a man who surely has a decrepit portrait of himself hidden in an attic somewhere, Mr. Johnny Depp.


Where you know him from:
1) 21 Jump Street
2) Edward Scissorhands, Willa Wonka, Alice in Wonderland, and other movies where he gets to dress up like a weirdo
3) Those damn pirate movies



Why I think he's dreamy:

Seriously, just look at him. I've had a crush on this man since 1984, when he got turned into a fountain of blood in the first Nightmare on Elm Street movie.


Proof that he has hardly aged in the last 25 years:




I DARE YOU to try and put those photos in chronological order.


Recommended viewing:

Since you have no doubt seen quite a few of Johnny's films, I'll try and concentrate of some of the "smaller" movies. One of my favorite early roles of Mr. Depp's is John Water's "Cry-Baby". There is a cute boy and singing. I don't really need much more in a movie to make me happy. I also adore "Benny & Joon, which starred our boy as a charmingly Buston-Keaton-obsessed looney-bird, and taught me how to make grilled cheese sandwiches using an iron. He is simply delicious in Chocolat, a fun little romantic film if you're in the mood for something sweet and fluffy. You may also, if you have not yet seen it, want to check out Finding Neverland, which makes you want to hug Sir James Barrie, although I don't think he was quite that adorable in real life.


Summation:

Johnny Depp will surely continue to dress up as a pirate or mass-murderer or other crazy character for years to come. Under all the makeup, he is still the same sweet-looking man with just enough of a bad-boy glint in his eye that caught my eye when he was just a young man. Check your DVD collection... if you don't have at least one movie starring Mr. Depp, you probably don't have a very good DVD collection.

The Men of Interview with the Vampire

I first saw "Interview with the Vampire" in the theater in 1994. I've considered myself an aficionado of horror literature since fourth grade, when I first discovered Edgar Allen Poe. So of course I was deep into my Anne Rice phase by the time her novel was adapted to the screen. While watching the film again for the first time in at least a decade, I found myself remembering my impressions of the movie the first time I saw it, along with my rather different thoughts now. As such, for this review, I thought it best to give you both accounts.


Christian Slater

1994 opinion

Oh my God, Christian Slater is adorable. I loved him so much in "True Romance", and "Pump up the Volume". Also "Heathers"! I watched "Gleaming the Cube" about eight million times. Isn't it funny how I used to have such a thing for skater boys? ;p Anyway, Christian is very cute in this movies in his nerdy glasses. Ew, he smokes in this movie.

2010 opinion

"Interview" is probably the last thing I actually enjoyed Mr. Slater in. In 1998 he starred in "Very Bad Things", after which I think he lost my good opinion forever. Still, he was pretty cute in his nerdy glasses in this movie. Except for the smoking, ew.


Brad Pitt

1994 opinion

Brad Pitt looks weird in this movie. And what sort of strange accent is he trying to do? Well, at least he looks attractive in the early flashbacks. He's very pretty, but not really my type, and not a particularly good actor. Also, is he wearing red lip gloss?

Current opinion

Brad Pitt has never been my type, although I will admit that he was handsome in "Interview", and still handsome today. He's a little too all-American, cocky and overconfident for my taste. In "Meet Joe Black", my favorite scene is when he gets hit by a car. Still, at least his acting has gotten better, or he's become better at choosing roles that fit his style. And since he did create the iconic vision of Tyler Durden on screen in "Fight Club", I do have some warm and fuzzy feelings for him.


Antonio Banderas


1994 Opinion

Hottie. But he looks weird in this movie.

2010 Opinion

Hottie. Luckily he has that amazing voice, because he looks weird in this movie.







Stephen Rea

1994 Opinion

Who?

2010 Opinion

Oh, at last a real actor. A real man. The fact that they gave the star of The Crying Game this small, sad little part is an insult. Probably they didn't want to make Mr. Pitt look too bad by making him play opposite a pro-fessional for too much of the movie.


Tom Cruise

1994 Opinion

He's dreamy. Seriously, he hasn't looked this good since "Legend". And he's awfully gay in this movie, and I mean that in the nicest, sexiest possible way. Sure, in parts of the film he's a dessicated monster, but he gets better. I think he's probably the best looking guy in this movie, and that's saying a lot!

2010 Opinion

Sigh. I want to look at 1994 Tom Cruise and find him entrancing. And while he was stunningly handsome in this movie, I find it difficult to just go with it. It takes quite a lot to make an actor's personal life affect my perception of his work, but unfortunately, Mr. Cruise found the line, crossed it, and then put up a sign saying he'd crossed it. I see his crazy and cruel portrayal of Lestat, which I had thought to be quite decent acting at the time, and just imagine that's what he's like in his private life. So thanks, Mr. Cruise, for being bat-poop crazy enough to make me not enjoy looking at a cute boy. It's a first for me.

In conclusion:

Both 1994 me and 2010 me agree that while "Interview with the Vampire" was not a perfect book to film adaptation, it is certainly full of cute boys. And we both wish that River Phoenix had been alive to play Christian Slater's role, though we certainly think it was sweet of Mr. Slater to donate his salary to charities that Mr. Phoenix had endorsed during his lifetime.

















(River Phoenix, August 23, 1970 – October 31, 1993)

Boy of the Month: DAVID TENNANT

Where you know him from:

1) Doctor Who

2) Doctor Who

3) Seriously people, he was DOCTOR WHO!

Why I think he’s dreamy:

David Tennant is a tall drink of skinny, gawky, geeky goodness. I was introduced to Mr. Tennant’s work by a friend who forced me to watch the premiere episode of the third season of the new Doctor Who. I protested vociferously, previously being vocally anti-Who in all incarnations. However, the first glimpse of the charming man in “Smith and Jones” caused me to forget all about my long-held Who prejudice. His acting on the show was wacky and wonderful, and, most importantly, he was wearing a pair of red Chuck Taylor’s. Boys in Converses are basically catnip to me, and so I was well and truly hooked.

These are the shoes.

As soon as I could get to my computer, I added the first and second season of Doctor Who to my Netflix queue. While I found Christopher Eccleston to be a perfectly lovely Doctor, David Tennant’s portrayal of the character, with his depths of sadness and manic leaps of joy, completely endeared him to me as an actor. And the fact that he is incredibly easy to gaze upon does not hurt matters, either.

Other reasons I adore Mr. Tennant include:

1. He’s Scottish
2. That hair
3. How adorable he is in glasses
4. His voice
5. According to the repository of all knowledge (Wikipedia), at the age of three he decided that he wanted to be an actor because he loved Doctor Who so much. If that’s not the textbook definition of a “fanboy”, I don’t know what is.

What is he doing with his hands?

Recommended Viewing:

If you live in Britain, you should have seen David in everything from Takin' Over the Asylum to Blackpool. While many of these series are not available on DVD in the United States, some are available to watch on a certain popular video sharing website. I highly recommend attempting to find Learners, where he plays a heart-meltingly sweet and geeky driving instructor, and Recovery, where he takes on the dramatic role of a man recuperating from debilitating brain injuries.

If you need to add to your David Tennant DVD collection, you may want to check out the BBC production of “Casanova”, which is silly and not particularly historically accurate, but it is lively and colorful and… has David Tennant in it. You may also want to check out Secret Smile, which is not a fabulous piece of theater except for David’s performance as a right bastard. I’m also going to heartily recommend the 2009 Royal Shakespeare Company version of Hamlet, with David in the titular role and Jean-Luc Picard Professor Xavier Patrick Stewart as Claudius. It's an interesting production of the play, and 180 minutes of David Tennant (and his bare feet) is well worth watching. Lastly, you may already have a film with our boy in it, if you own Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, in which he gives a brief and utterly creeptastic portrayal of Barty Crouch, Jr.

Summation:

In short…

Homina homina homina!